#ForeverAlone on Valentine’s Day

02/14/17 | Dating, Heart, Love

Like many of you, today is just a regular Tuesday, and after a long day of work, I’ll be going home to no one.  

My night will probably consist of answering a few emails, figuring out my outfit for tomorrow, curling up in my bed and watching some show on Netflix until I fall asleep.  

And no, I’m not bitter about it.

This man-made holiday full of reds and pinks and hearts and chocolate-covered strawberries and roses and teddy bears bigger than me doesn’t make me feel sick to my stomach, nor does it make me want to give the finger to every couple I see swapping saliva on my Instagram newsfeed.  

As singles, we can have the tendency to feel discouraged because we have the constant comparison of other couples that we see on social media.  

“#RelationshipGoals,” or “Power Couple,” or “So in love,” or “That’s bae” will definitely be on your newsfeed all day today.

Your reactions might be:

“Gee, I want to come home to flowers on my doorstep, and rose petals leading to a candle-lit bedroom.”

Or you’re thinking…

”I don’t know why her man spent all that money on her.  She’s probably cheating on him.”

Let me tell you, this is the mindset you shouldn’t have.

When you have a negative mindset toward someone else’s happiness, you end up blocking your blessings due to jealousy.  Don’t sit there and act like you’re not jealous.  You’re only playing yourself. *DJ Khaled voice*

Wanting wanting to find love and companionship and a life partner is not a bad thing.  It’s natural to want to be around someone romantically.   But don’t confuse your desire to be in a relationship with wanting to fill a void to avoid being lonely.

Understand that there is a reason for your singleness.  

Whenever you go through a breakup, divorce, or you’re just chronically single, you’re actually being protected from what wasn’t meant to be in the first place.  

Just think, in every relationship, you probably cried your eyes out, called your ex and cussed them out, ate your feelings in ice cream and pizza, and wondered why you weren’t good enough.  But you also learned something from that relationship that will prepare you for the next relationship, that will prepare you for the very next relationship, that will ultimately prepare you for your life partner.  

There is a reason why none of those relationships worked.  

Falling in love is a powerful and draining life experience to endure.  Falling in love with someone makes us want to give our complete selves until we have nothing left to give.  We have the tendency to focus on that one person and dismiss every other aspect of our lives.

Sidenote: We’ve all had that one friend that as soon as they jumped into a relationship, it almost seemed as though they completely fell off the map as they fell so happily in love, then they come out of the cave of misery when they’re single again.  If you don’t have that friend, you probably were that friend.

Yes, breakups can hurt and you might feel like the world came crashing down on your shoulders and a piece of your heart is gone, but being single has its benefits.  You’re allowed to fully discover who you are, understand who you were in the relationship, and now figure out who you want to be.  You’re given a chance to fall back in love with yourself.  You can take yourself out on dates, you can spoil yourself, and you can devote time to those you neglected while you were in a relationship.

When you’re single you also realize the importance of dating for potential and not to pass time.  If you can look at someone and say, “I know I would never want to spend the rest of my life with you,” then what are you wasting your time for?  This person is clearly not meant for you, so it’s time for you to refocus your attention on you and what makes you happy.

So this Valentine’s Day, don’t be discouraged by all the social media posts you’re gawking at, but be happy that you have this moment to focus on becoming the best version of yourself while waiting for the love of your life, because just like you, they are out there waiting for you, too.